New Past, New Present, New Year

New Past

At the end of 2011, I rolled my eyes at Jennie McCarthy's sophomoric antics and watched a ball "drop" over a crowd of screaming, kissing, jumping and waving people. I toasted my family with sparkling grape juice, and most likely went to bed.

As I went to bed, I didn't know that in the coming year I would become an aunt for the first time.

I didn't know that in my fifth summer at Strong Rock I would become the Girls Head Counselor.

I didn't know that I would move home to live with my parents.

I didn't know that I would grow so many encouraging relationships in those last few months at Greensboro.

I didn't know that I would be working 3 part time jobs to pay off school.

I didn't know that I would meet the likes of Laura, Jenna, Laura Lee, Brandon, Bryant, Tyler, Trey, Ethan, James, Dustin, Mallory, Hayden, Amy at Strong Rock this summer.

I didn't know that I would travel to Chicago and Denver.

I didn't know that I would fall so much more in love with my family.

I didn't know how much heart that would grow from the youth and children in my church. 

I didn't know how already established relationships with family and friends would grow and change and teach me.

I didn't know how fiercely God would wrestle my heart.

I didn't know how much more I could love, ache, miss and feel. 

I didn't know how little I actually knew.

I didn't know all that has become my New Past.

New Present

Last night, at the end of 2012, I laughed, danced, played drawing games, trivia games, introduced my parents to Chuck, toasted every hour with sparkling grape juice, ate an ice cream Sunday, rolled my eyes at Jennie McCarthy's antics, watched more Chuck with my sister, got distracted looking back at camp photos and videos and went to bed at 3am.

I woke up four hours later to bid goodbye to my sister and brother-in-law, at a cinnamon roll and went back to sleep till 12:30.

I am currently one month into paying off my school loan.

I am almost (as soon as I mail it back) under contract to return to Strong Rock Camp for my sixth year, and second year as the Girl's Head Counselor.

I live at home with my parents.

My heart will hardly allow me a moment's rest, but God will also (mercifully) not leave me alone.

I feel closer than ever to my brothers and sisters.

I am listening to Amos Lee.

I am way farther along to healthy mind, body, and Spirit than probably ever before.

I can not fathom how blessed I am by the events of 2012.

New Year

I am on contract to work my three jobs through May.

I am on contract at camp from May till the end of July.

I have no earthly clue what happens starting in my life starting in August.

I am on track to obliterate my loan by the summer.

I am hoping to continue eating healthier, exercising more, spending more intentional time with Jesus, and learning how better to handle life as a non-child.

I am looking forward to learning what I do not know.

I am excited to meet every single new face and new life that will shape my concepts of life and relationships.

I am hoping in falling more in love with my God.

I am planning to enjoy watching my family grow and change.

I am slightly terrified of the unknown blob that is my future.

I am ecstatic to see the unknown blob that is my future take shape.

I am ridiculously blessed by each breath that becomes past.

I am honored by each heartbeat that is my present.

I am filled with hope and growing faith for everything ahead that is my future.