A Note on the Nature of my Father

Today (as I write this, not as I post it) is the day that my father turns 60. 

Sixty years on the earth. 

Sixty years of learning and growing and imparting.

One of the greatest things that my father does for me (and there are lots of things that he has done ) is love me as an individual. Not only that, he has taken such joy in the individuals that we (myself and my siblings) are, it only encourages us to do the same for others. My father time and again communicates to me, not just an unconditional love, but a joyful love. Joyous, not of things I do, but of who I am. 

So I am going to try and return the favor and talk about who I have seen my father to be.

He is centered on God.

I put this first, because whether I say it or not, it effects everything that will follow. Dad has spent his life seeking God. He has spent my life discipling me. Walking with me when I was young. Pushing me outward as I got older. Standing firm to answer questions. The way that he did it, for me, was not based on my needing to meet his standard, but rather that he personally had a relationship with God, and he wanted me to share in the same. My whole life I have only seen his love for God, his desire to serve, and desire to submit to God grow, and become more and more apparent. He has lived out what has got to be one of his favorite verses (because he says it all the time) "I have no greater joy than to see my children walking in the truth."

He is honest.

He tells me about his life. His mistakes. His triumphs. His relationship with God. He tells me when he can’t tell me things. And I trust him. I have never felt lied to. Never felt like there was a double standard. Never felt like I was getting half-truths. Because my dad has always been himself.

He is an individual.

The older he gets, the more he falls into himself. He is a goofy, serious, loving, mature, kid-like, humorous, a scholar, and more. Because my dad was himself and had fun with it, and equally had fun with my mom, as herself, and I saw him with each of my siblings doing the same, it only supported my desire to just be me. Having a father who is excited for you to be unique, to be who you are, is of immeasurable value.

He loves my mom.

My dad has always made it clear, he loves my mom, that he is always in her corner. From making sure to give her a big hug and kiss when he comes home, to making sure we helped her, to showing understanding when my mom gets upset, or overwhelmed, and supporting and defending her, rather than belittling something that wouldn’t even phase him. This set up so many good examples and so many high standards. I’m not sure I’ll ever find them all.

He is patient. 

Whether with a long to-do list, high emotions (he does have five daughters), upsetting situations, accidents, or just plain old flops (car wrecks etc). I have never been afraid of my dad. I have never wanted to avoid calling him, because he has always proven trustworthy of keeping my emotions, and feelings.

He is impatient.

I know, it seems contradictory, but my father can also be impatient. He gets impatient of people who do things to a lesser quality than he believes they should be able. He is impatient of repetition. If you make the same mistake over and over, he is impatient. He is mostly impatient with people outside of his family.

He is focused on family.

My dad is a people person, but his closest relationships (apart from God) are without doubt with his wife and children. He puts us on priority above everything else, including himself.  He has worked full time all my life and I never felt he was absent. Every event I could have wanted him there, he was. He is in every memory of holidays and even normal family dinners, Saturday work days, everything. 

He is not perfect.

My dad makes mistakes. I know because when he makes them, he will do what he can to make amends. Whether that is rushing to judgement, speaking too much ( I can relate), sharp words, bad choices. If it is a gray area, my father will try and correct it. 

He is fun.

My dad is hilarious. He loves an audience and he is good at working one. He sings well, and tells stories. He is just fun to be around. I love hanging out with my dad.

He is wise.

My dad has taken his years, and kept learning. He may debate this point, but I think it has made him wise. He’ll tell you of all his shenanigans when he was younger, and mistakes he’s made. But those have helped shape him. That and his continual submission to God. 

He has integrity.

I never doubted that my father would, to the best of his knowledge, do the right thing. He works hard, he does not cut corners, he does not give less than his best. Because of him, I didn’t slack in college. Because he set the example and standard, to do everything to the best of your ability. Not the best of everyone out there, but the best of what you can do.

He is someone to be respected.

This is huge. Some people hear me and my siblings talk to our dad and think that he’s letting us get away with disrespect. We joke and make fun of him (and he returns), we are always very open and honest, but this is not sprung from disrespect, this is from respect. Because of these things that I have listed above and so many more, my dad has spent the 22 years of my life earning and earning more and more respect. Because I respect him so much, because he so obviously loves me, and because he has been himself, and let us be ourselves, we have the freedom to communicate, however. There are no rules of what we can and cannot say to dad. 

He is my dad.

He’s mine. God gave me Bo Gray, as my father. He gave him to me for reasons I may never know in full, but a huge one is he gave me a father, as an earthly picture of His love for me. And my father, imperfect and human as he is, has, in my eyes, blown it out of the park.

He is a blessing and encouragement to me, always; he's such an amazing image of God’s love for me. An image of the way God loves me as an individual. The way God wants the best for me. The way that God feels pain when I do. The way that God takes joy in my life. 

Granted, my dad doesn’t have a plan for my life, like God, and he can not love me to level that Christ does, but he is always pointing me towards God, my true father.

And as an ambassador father of the most high Father, to us, his family, and primary calling, I’d say he is a smashing success.

Love you Daddy.