Entitlement: Revisited With a Side of Perspective and Large Helping of Reflection and Opinion

Home. 

This morning in church we talked about Colossians 3 about children honoring parents. Michael (our pastor) first asked for those who were twelve and under to raise their hands and he addressed the fact that Paul wrote this with the expectation that the children in the early church would hear it and follow it. 

Then he said this, “Now those over twelve who still live at home with their parents.” Pav who was on the row in front of me immediately turns around and whispers, “That’s you Peige, put your hand up!” And then Pav’s ever loyal seven-year-old daughter turns and smiles and points at me till I, laughing, raise my hand in the air. 

Guilty as charged. 

How do I feel about the current state of things? Well...let me weight the options. 

I could be upset about the stigma of kids who come home and their inability to function properly. Or I could be humbled that I have the ability to come home and live free of rent while I pay off bills and get myself situated financially. I’m going with the latter. 

I could take out my frustration at not living independently by avoiding my parents and being moody around the house, to “prove I don’t need them”, or I could work with them to become a functioning household of adults. I could appreciate the time I have to live close to them and catch up on the two years of changing that we’ve three done farther apart. 

I could feel childish that I ride in the backseat of the minivan every Sunday as we go to church, or I could be thankful that they are letting me ride along and use their gas, which saves money.

I could scramble for sarcasm, bitterness or resentment to prove to myself that I am independent individual, or I could know that I am in fact more independent that I ever thought and remind myself to be a little dependent for the sake of unity. Because I believe independence, maturity, or responsibility is not defined by outward actions, age, or position in life, but rather with an ability to look at life and make wise, sound, decisions for the benefit of everyone involved, present and future.

I am striving for that sort of maturity and growth. I refuse to be held captive to any other stigma of what defines ‘responsible’ or ‘mature’ individuals. 

So am I embarrassed to be home? No. I’m not here to ‘find myself’ or because I have no other plan. I am here because it is a grace that I have been given to get to be here and it is the best decision for myself, my family, and my future at present. I am confident in that. 

And if I am confident that I am where God wants me, why should anything else matter? 

I have been reading in Timothy and am starting to memorize this passage.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. ... Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."      -1 Timothy 6:6-12 (abridged) 

If I really believe this, I should never have any time for discontentment. 

I have been reflecting on this passage for about a month now. And so many different thoughts have come from it. 

One of them being thoughts on perspective. 

People carry their burdens differently. Some things in life leaves scars there is no mistake, but I have scars that have healed and disappeared overtime.

What if someone had been through hell on earth, but had such an eternal perspective that you couldn’t even tell? Or more so, that they couldn’t tell? That they were so set on the foundation that nothing else matters outside of Jesus. Is that possible? 

Some people consider things like cars breaking down as tribulation, what about the people who live on the streets? On one meal a day and one set of clothes? I’ve seen believers who have been through infinitely more than they show, and yet will come and comfort someone going through something comparatively minuscule, and give the other person as much grace and assurance as if it was the whole world falling apart. How do you do that? Without telling someone, “Suck it up, you think you have it bad...let me tell you.” But then that leaves it open for another person to one- up that person. 

I think we sometimes fall into the trap of one-upping each other’s trials and we will become competitive over how much we overcame to follow Jesus. How stupid is that? 

One of my favorite conversations I ever had with a camper was in my last summer in the cabin. Our director had that night had done a simple, low pressure invitation to the campers to come to know Jesus. I sat with one eleven year old camper that night talking about it. She had already accepted Jesus, but she was sharing something that had come to her while her fellow campers were raising their hands. 

“You know,” she told me, “I used to be embarrassed that I didn’t have an awesome story of how I come [sic] to Jesus. You know, people will give testimony about how they came out of this awful hard stuff, and me I just said a prayer in Sunday School. But tonight down there by the fire, I got to thinking. It doesn’t matter how you come to Jesus, it just matters that you come.”

She was on the right track of thinking. I don’t think I could have grinned bigger or affirmed her more. 

Timothy talks about only needing clothes and food to feel content, what if we lived that? Everything we are and have is a gift. We are entitled to nothing, so why live like we are? 

(Future posts on Comebacks coming)

The Second thing that keeps coming back is the simplicity of this list. The verse says to be content with food and clothes.

 It doesn’t say anything about if you are debt-free, own a car, have family, are in good health, if you have a certain social network, a bed, a house. It is simply, if you have food and clothing. Not even, if you have well-balanced, tasty food, or clothes that fit, or are comfortable, or in your style. Just simply, food and clothes. 

What if we lived like we were entitled to nothing?

By no means am I suggesting shunning all that we have, giving away everything so we have only food and clothes. In fact if you read farther in Timothy it addresses those who are rich, saying only that they should be generous and put value in Jesus, not their money. And if all they really care about is having some food and clothing to be content, I’m not sure they could be anything but generous.

I am saying what if every little thing we have, frustrating, happy, sad, hard, angering, whatever, was considered a blessing. The hard things make us stronger, the easy things bring joy, but all of it should come with an attitude that we deserve nothing, but death and everyday we have life, and food and clothes, we are more than blessed.

So I am here at home. Looking, on paper, like an unsuccessful individual a college graduate working part-time and living across the hall from her parents. But I have food, and clothes. More so, I have amazing, loving, non-busybody, fun parents, a room to myself, food that is delicious, nutritious and in-line with things that don’t make me sick (i.e. lactose and gluten).  And I have clothes that I get to choose and buy (albeit largely from thrift stores) and a huge family that loves me and knows me and understands me. I have a nationwide, and even international, network of friends and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that make me feel loved and accepted. And this is just the short list.

So please, Michael, ask for kids over twelve living at home, I will raise my hand. And raise it high. Because I am not a failure, a homebody, a overly dependent immature or irresponsible person. I am simply exceedingly blessed.






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