Whatever's In Front of Me...

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I remember in my 3rd summer at camp, one I day I woke up and just felt dead. I was so tired, I couldn't begin to imagine how I was going to sit up, let alone wake up a cabin full of 10 year olds and be responsible for them, and teach five classes, all while maintaining the energy and joy required by camp.

I rolled over and let my arm drop to the floor and pick up the notecards next to me bed. For the hundredth time that year, I read 2 Corinthians 4.

The rest of the day, was not easy. I took one step at a time, sometimes literally. I made it to lunch in shock. By the time I was running around playing the game that night, I knew that something awesome had happened that day, because I looked back and could not find a single point where my energy was coming from me.

I looked back on the day and thought, how cool? God did that whole thing. I loved that day. I loved the part it held in my memory and building my walk with God.

This summer I look on that experience as a marathoner might look back at their middle school track team (and knowing that before I die, I'm gonna end up like those people who run across the country in three days). Even so, God is still teaching me from that passage.

The verse at the beginning of this post says a couple different things I want to point out.

"...we do not lose heart..."

This is a statement. We don't lose heart. We have opportunity to lose heart, but we won't. What comes next is why.

"...our outer self is wasting away, but our inner self is being renewed, day by day..."

Our outer self will only get more tired, more run down. But every morning, God's mercies are new. Every day God comes in and restores our soul. He reminds us in a million ways why showing up every day is "worth it".

"..this light and momentary affliction..."

It doesn't say what gauge we are deciding what light and momentary affliction is, but here at camp we have air conditioning, running water, food, sleep, beds, pretty basic first-world life style. Sure, we spend a lot of time in the sun, but we have an abundance of clean water. Sure we have very little down-time during the day, but we have at least eight (should be at least nine) hours every day with no assignments. This is hard work, emotionally and spiritually pouring into these campers, absolutely, but for the most part, I would call it "light and momentary" in comparaison to what we could be facing.

"...preparing us for an eternal weight of glory, beyond all comparison..."

This is the part that jumped out to me when reading through this past time. Mostly the word, "weight". I know that word. I don't just know what it means, I feel what it means. The "weight of glory".

We are here with purpose. I have been called. I know this. So I show up and I trust God to work, to provide. But I feel, acutely the weight of what we are doing. The weight and effect that my actions have. The weight of the forces that oppose us. The weight of the majesty of what we are doing.

"...we look not to things that are seen, but unseen..."

Every day, no matter how hard or easy. we are here for the Unseen. For God. For Christ. For sharing good news with others. And this God that we are here for, is working everything for our good and for His glory (a). A weight of glory.

"...so we do not lose heart..."

We wake up and experience just a taste of an eternal weight of glory. It's heavy, sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I want to give into the flesh side of me and cry, and be down, and succumb to discouragement. But no matter what, "...whatever's in front of me, I chose to say, Hallejuah." 

Because it's worth it.

Because God is still there. 

Because God is still worthy of trust. 

Because God is still deserving of praise.

Because God sustains me. 

Because God will not stop pursuing me.

Because, I feel the weight, and it's glorious. 

I will not lose heart.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know thatthe testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." -James 1: 2-4

Let’s Be Terrifying

Best "battle" picture I could find, but I love this book/movie
and also Peter is my favorite.

(From the newsletter that we put out bi-weekly for the staff)

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” 

  Every morning we open our eyes in a battle. Every night we fall asleep in the midst of war.

 “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

We are against a clever and cunning foe, and yet live in the midst of situations that are trying and wear us down. They make us dull, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Camp is such a hard battle because it can be a battle against flesh and blood (our own weakness), along with spirituality.  One of the biggest assets for the enemy is convincing us that there is no battle. Then there is no reason for us to be on our guard. So maybe he attacks you subtly, maybe you aren’t struggling with energy or patience. That is a ploy. You grow dependent on yourself. That happened so many summers for me. When I started being overwhelmed, then I sunk deeper into God. So the enemy keeps coming, and attacking in new ways.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

We’ve all seen movies about war, heard stories. Battles are fought, and when the end comes, the victors are the ones still standing. They are not clean, or energized, they are weary, they are bloody, they are bruised. But they are standing. We don’t win battles by standing back and watching the fray, we win them by charging in. 

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

This is our armor. This is how we win. If we go into battle without it, we die. Every night as you go to sleep, sleep in battle mode. With your armor on, sword at the ready. When you wake up in the morning, attack the day. Every day of your life, you fight for your soul, but when you come to camp, you take up the sword for more. You fight not just for yourself, but for the campers, the staff, and the families that are impacted by our calling, when you wake up weary, when you struggle to put a smile on, when kids are driving you crazy, when your body is weak and you begin thinking fainting would be a good thing because it means you could lie down, in those moments you are being attacked, mercilessly.

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”  (-Ephesians 6: 10-18)

So look up from this paper and look at your co-counselor. Look at the kids in your cabin and don’t see their shells. Look, and ask God to let you see the soul, the life that Satan is trying to steal. Step into your boots, pull on your helmet, tighten your belt, surround yourself in the shield of faith and pick up your sword. Then run, head-on into the battle, fight till you see the demons turn-tail and run. Then fight some more. Remember that without the armor, without God, without the Spirit, no matter what intentions you may have, you are dead, and one less person fighting for your campers. So abide in Christ, live and breathe in the armor of God. Be encouraged and praise God for attacks, because it means we are in the battle, it means that we are growing into something to fear.