What's something you depend on a lot? Food, water, family, technology.
How about light?
It could be just me, but I think light is one of the greatest, yet most forgotten dependencies. For example, what's everyones biggest fear? Dark. (i.e. - no LIGHT!)
I used to think it made sense. If God was light, then darkness must be evil. Here's the dilly though - God created darkness and light (Genesis 1). In my understanding of God, He cannot create evil. It'd be a contradiction. Now my thinking is - darkness happens.
Have you ever walked in the dark? Without any flashlight, cell phone, candle or whatever you would use? It can be intimidating, especially when its unfamiliar ground. For example, the other night I went to my friends house to get my sock. I had to ask Aaron to back the car I was driving out of the driveway because unfamiliar car, plus unfamiliar driveway at 10 o'clock at night made me nervous. He wasn't feeling great so he moved it before I was ready to leave. I finished catching up with Peter, then decided to leave. I was apparently a tad tired because some non-sensical things had come out of my mouth already that did not necessarily inspire confidence in my abilities. As I opened the door to leave, our conversation went something like this:
Me: "Alright, see you...whew! its dark out. I hope I can find my car."
Peter: "Do you need me to walk you to your car?"
Me: "Mmmm...nah. I'll find it around here somewhere. Oh! there's a step here."
Peter: "And you're sure you'll be okay?"
Me: "Yeah! - Does your driveway go this direction?"
Peter: (Long look, shaking his head, then comes out to lead the way - bless his heart)
Okay, it was really dark. I had to follow Peter with my hand on his shoulder so I wouldn't lose him. I asked him how he could see and he told me, "I can't, but I know the driveway." (We found the car without one misstep - on Peter's end)
Earlier I said, "Darkness happens." I didn't just mean approximately every 12 hours half the earth goes dark, I meant it happens in life.
Raise your hand and shout "Amen" if you ever felt like you were sitting in the dark. Sure every morning you get up, eat, breathe, you may have a job, or school, but everything around you is dark.
You can't find a point to your actions, or purpose to your being. That "light at the end of the tunnel" isn't getting closer, because you can't see it. You can't find the strength to get up and go looking.
What do we do with that?
I read a book in which a character was going through a tough time. She ended up looking at Psalm 23, which most of us can recite at least in part. You know it, "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want." Then there is the part, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." You can't get much darker than that. The valley of the shadow of death. But that's not what I'm pointing out. I'm pointing out the word, "walk". That is an action, a verb. It requires doing. It does not say, "Yea though I'm stuck...". The reason Peter made it down the driveway was not that he could see any more, it was because he knew the general direction he needed to be walking and had the faith to put one foot in front of the other. He had faith that there was not a branch fallen, or a confused snake, or that the earth hadn't suddenly gone all 2012 on him and there was a gaping hole where his driveway should be.
Darkness is not evil. Darkness is a chance to strengthen our faith in and dependence on God.
All this came to me as I was walking by myself from the lodge to the hotels (about a 1/4 mile) without a light. It was really dark, but I know that road from walking it multiple times a day going to the archery or riflery ranges. Still I suppose I was walking on a faith similar to Peter's. The difference being that there was no one with me. For the past two weeks since camp ended and whoever was left moved to the hotels, nearly every night some combination of Dani, Owen, Thomas, Angela or myself has walked up, usually linking arms or holding hands. We did that to keep track of each other and also to help those with no night vision (*cough - Thomas) stay on the road.
This is another epic metaphor of the body of Christ. When we feel that lost God will sometimes send one of His ambassadors to guide, encourage, or hold accountable. But sometimes its just us.
I have this quote that I love. "I believe in the sun, even when its not shining. I believe in love, even when I don't feel it. I believe in God, even when he is silent." When we are alone and continue to walk that is when we grow the strongest. On dark nights, we don't doubt the sun will rise. Why would we doubt God, who is faithful to make the sun rise, every single day. Why would he leave us purposelessly in the dark?
Darkness is an opportunity to grow faith. Sometimes its not even depressing, just mediocre life. This is striking a chord with me because I see myself slipping this way. During camp I would hang out with God almost every spare minute I had because I had so little time I had to stay connected with Him to stay sane. Now that we are on to the chiller retreat season I'm drifting away. I feel mediocre and almost listless.
This is my faith time. The reason or purpose is not starring me in the face like when I have ten little girls sleeping six feet away looking at me to lead them. So I need to keep walking.
Practically, God is super helpful with this. Its pretty basic. Read the word. He gives us dang checklists for actions (1 Cor 13, Gal 5), but the most important is in John 15, "Abide in me." So to keep walking I'll keep living, and to keep living I'll keep walking, and it will all come from abiding.
God hatched a scheme for my life, if I follow and walk with Him I have to have the faith that there is never a purposeless darkness. I just have to keep walking.
Take a breath.
And put one foot in front of the other.
