Showing posts with label Thank-mas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thank-mas. Show all posts

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Dear Callie. (Otherwise known as Family Part 2)




Dear Callie,

This year was your first Christmas. We had a lot of people. A lot.

Grandma (or whatever you decide to call her) made you a stocking.







See this picture? This is your family. Your daddy's family. Grandma and Grandpa. Aunt Liz, Uncle Glenn, Aunt Lyd, Aunt Charissa, Aunt Cilla (that's me!) and Aunt Sarah. Do you see yourself over there in the corner? You did a great job learning to cope with us. It was a bit of a culture shock for you, to switch from your quiet life with just you and Momma and Daddy to being around us all.


Luckily, your entire family loves you and did our best to work with you and try not to overwhelm you.

We let you sleep a lot, and were always available to hold you.

It was so fun to watch you sit and stare. I could see your eyes, taking us all in. You looked around the room, deeply. You were searching and putting pieces together. It was so incredible to watch your anxiety melt away the more time you spent with us. You learned the surroundings, you learned our faces. You had little worry lines in your forehead that relaxed as you learned how to appreciate an entire room full of people focused on you.










We did our best to make you feel comfortable by making sure each of us let you have time to get know us personally. It was such a strain on our part to spend time holding your precious little self.



You got to meet your Great - Grandmother too.


















Usually if you got real overwhelmed you'd need to back off and spend some time with Momma or Daddy.

When we weren't doing our best to help you adjust, we were teaching you by example how to have a Gray family Christmas.


Eating a lot is a must. Always a variety. Our best times were when we just spread it out on the tables. Cookies, cheese, guacamole, crackers, and that disgusting summer sausage your Aunt Lyd likes so much.









Also important is talking along with eating. We talk about everything. Classes (because five out of 8 of us are in some sort of school), telling stories about people, music recommendation, movies, struggles, joys, plans...we share. We always have. Your Momma says that it's something that overwhelmed her a lot when she came into the family. She says that none of us fully realize how close we are. I think I agree, and we just keep getting closer, because we just like being around each other.









Sometimes we did hijinks. Like trying to stuff you in a stocking.

You weren't a big fan of that.











We played games too. Like tabletop shuffleboard.

You should be proud of your Daddy. He pretty much dominated. Sometimes we unseated him. But not very often.







We also went for walks. You feel asleep.

You slept really well, and we're pretty sure you grew about an inch in one day.

Okay I exaggerate. (Something else your family is prone to do). But you did grow a lot.






Grandma, likes to read books to you and work on your development. She was very impressed with you.

We basically all believe you are a genius baby.

You've yet to prove us wrong.




Most of all, no matter what happened, we laughed. A lot.







Sometimes your aunts decide to call the ham, "Roast Beast" and make a show out of carrying it to the table as a team.




This was one of my favorite moments. When we danced together. Remember that I will always dance with you. Especially when you are feeling upset, like you were that morning. I was proud of you. We put on Lena Horne's "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" and went to town, dancing your tears away.



You really liked your Uncle Glenn. He's the only uncle you have right now, on our side. And it's so much fun to watch him with you. I have this video of him planning all the fun times you are going to have together. He says that now all you do is hang out and look at the ceiling fan, but later you'll go out and get ice cream, and "something girls like" maybe, go to the park, but for now, it's mostly all about taking naps.


We also have traditions, like watching Elf. Your Aunt Charissa loves that one. Look how happy she is. We all say that watching her watch this movie is the best part. A dozen times in and she still laughs so hard. 



This is Grandpa Bo. He's a goofball. He loved acting out for you. This is his victory dance. He did this one for us. 

Here you are sitting in Gramp's lap while he makes faces and noises. I momentarily distracted you with a camera. 


Sometimes you made the same faces.



This is the most important part. 

These two people. 

They are your parents. 

They love you so much. 

Callie Ann, I've known your daddy my whole life. I have never ever seen him so enraptured with anything. He loves you. He is captured by you. He is proud of you. He is so protective of you. You completely amaze him. 

I've known your Momma for a few years too. She has taken her penchant for learning, for teaching, and channeled it completely into you. She buys books, and reads them. She thinks about helping you adjust to noise, to things on your head. She reads about how you are developing. She researches, she talks to Grandma, but my favorite thing that your Momma does is fight for you. She will tell people to back off. She fights to know you, and then she fights to make sure you get the best that she knows. 

Above all, both of your parents fight for you Spiritually. They pray. They know, they see you as an amazing gift, and you are. To your parents, to your family, to whoever God plans for you to encounter. 



Plus, look at you. Could you be any cuter?!

Finally, because I told your Aunt Charissa I would, here is a sample of some of the things that make us laugh. Along with dancing, your Aunt Cilla likes writing. So I take notes of things people say sometimes. Here is some of the random, quirky, sarcastic and dry things your family says. Believe me, it's better in person.

(Charissa) “I love boundaries. I’m such a three year old. Boundaries are Great!” 

(Me) “You filmed? I’m proud of you!” 
(Charissa) “Thanks...there may have been 30 seconds when I forgot to open the cover” 
(Me) “Didn’t you notice it was black?” 
(Charissa)”I thought it was the sun”

(Charissa) “Sarah! What’s your guessies for your prezzies?” 

(Lydia) “Our freezer is full of oats. We’ll use them for sandbags in case of a flood.”

(Sarah)“I thought horses sleep standing up.” 
(Lydia) “They do unless it’s cold, then I think they sleep lying down because they wish they were dead.”

(Glenn - talking about their future daughter) “Basically we want her (Lydia’s) internal organs and my physique.” 


“You really like that fritto cheese dip that comes in the can?” - Me
“Yep, little can of heaven.” - Glenn

(Sarah) “Wasn’t Benjamin a disciple?”
(Pam) “No, he was joseph’s brother.” 
(Sarah) “Eh - same thing.” 

(Lydia) “I was teaching her vowel sounds durning her wiggle time. I’m all in to your child’s development.” 

(Glenn) “I don’t match tones (vocal tones)....others match their tones to me.”

(Lydia, after seeing Dad's victory dance) “That’s how dad’s gonna go. A heart attack at 92 doing that.” 

(Bo) “Alright...New Years. Callie will be gone and Glenn will be the center of attention.”


(Lydia to Glenn) “I am sorry your team lost. I want you to achieve, as I did.” 

(Charissa) “Because when nothing else cuts...you go for the blue.” - Charissa
(Me) “What...?”
(Charissa) “I’m doing a commercial for my jacket.” 

(Charissa)“Selfish!” 
(Sarah) “Who?”
(Charissa) “The rest of Andrews. They ate all the peppermint ice cream.” 


(Liz reading the subtitles that keep saying, “Soldiers speaking indistinctly”) “These soldiers need to learn to speak more distinctly.”


(Charissa)“If Mom told you she was pregnant right now, what would be your response?” 
(Bo) “I’d change my name to Abraham.”

(Mom) “Bo, you look so cute.”
(Dad) “What?”
(Me - Louder) “You look cute Dad.” 
(Dad) “Uh -that’s my goal.” 

(Lydia) “You should have visited them.” 
(Mom) “We had no money.”
(Lydia) “Credit cards. Sell a kidney.” 

(Lydia) “I did crush some boy’s hearts. But not Glenn! I lift Glenn’s up so it can fly.”


Callie, you are precious, and I'm already so proud of you. I am so excited to watch you grow and see how you participate and add to our family. 

Sometimes your aunts are terrible at filming. So the only record I have
of myself at events is the classic mirror shot. Someday they will learn to
open the lens cover.


Sunday, December 30, 2012

Thank(mas): Christmas - Part 4

"...then the LORD God formed the man of dust 
from the ground and breathed into his nostrils
 the breath of life, and the man became a living creature."
 - Genesis 2:7










In the beginning of the world, God gave us life. The ability to breathe in and out, a muscle to pump precious blood throughout our body, a brain to command our functions and make choices. Our choices led to darkness, but even in the darkness God's love shone. He sent His son to penetrate the darkness. To live among us, to feel the weight of our struggle, the pain in the journey, to live, and live purely in it all. And then, His son was killed, to atone for us.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time
 Christ died for the ungodly. 
For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—
though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—  
but God shows his love for us in that 
while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
-Romans 5:6-8

When God died in our place, the missing piece appeared, and the gap between our sin and God's perfection was bridged. Jesus came and lived a perfect life. He faced the same day to day struggles we do, and never succumbed to the darkness. When He hung on the cross, forsaken by God, you can almost imagine the joy felt by the devil. But not for long. Because when God died, we were given a chance to live.

"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men." - John 1:4

Jesus did not just die to even the equation (sin entered the world through one man etc - see part 1) He came back to life. He did not just sucumbe to a horrific death for us, He conquered it. He surpassed it. He made a way for us to do the same. We are free, because God lived.

"For freedom Christ has set us freestand firm therefore, 
and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." 
- Galatians 5:1

God came into the darkness, out of love, manifested Himself as a human, and conquered death all so that we would be free from the yoke of slavery. Slavery to the laws of the flesh. Slavery to the darkness we brought on ourselves, the second we chose the flesh over God. When we couldn't live up to God's standard we became a slave to death. When Christ came to live among us, and die for us, and come back to life for us, He conquered it all. No matter how often we fall back into the ease of slavery, we are inescapably free.



"But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin,
 the Spirit is life because of righteousness.
If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, 
he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life
 to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. 
So then, brothers, we are debtors, 
not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 
For if you live according to the flesh you will die, 
but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, 
you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear,
 but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, 
by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”"
 - Romans 8:10-12

Christmas is a time of year that we set aside to celebrate Jesus' birth, His coming. His light coming into the darkness, His Love manifesting life. Christ came, and I have the Spirit of God, who vanquished death, once for all, living inside of me. Christ came, and lived a human life so I can call Him brother, and God, Abba Father. At Christmas we celebrate the life of Jesus, but more so, we celebrate that through His life, we all have an opportunity to live, eternally, in unity with the One who gave us breath. I can not hold on to that tight enough. Glory be to the Light in my Darkness, to the Lover of my heart, to the Manifestation of God, to my very source of Life, for this season and the rest of time. Let me never forget, my greatest gift.

"Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood,
 much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.
 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God
 by the death of his Son, much more, 
now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.
 More than that, we also rejoice in God
 through our Lord Jesus Christ,
 through whom we have now received reconciliation."
 - Romans 5:9-11

Friday, December 21, 2012

Thank(mas): Family - Part 1

Callie was still hiding inside Pam at this point.

As of last night, 10 out of 11 of my immediate family members were together under one roof.  Two parents, six sisters, two brothers, and a baby niece. We are an overwhelming bunch to say the least, in so many ways.


We could be overwhelming because right now, Glenn and Sarah are eating lunch and talking historical and educational discussion of the church etc, and different classes they have encountered while Sarah works on her Bachelors at UNC and Glenn works on his PhD at Marquette.



Or maybe its the abundance of opinions given. That you look angsty, that you are helpful, that you are pretty, that you shouldn't use that glass, that you need to not pass a baby around, that you need to eat more, that you need to eat less, that you need fresh air...we are terribly interested in everyone else's life.
Baby niece Callie, and my sister-in-law, Pam.

Or maybe its the volumes we reach. Between Callie's crying, and Bo's blowing rasberries to entertain her, or sisters laughing, or dropping pots while washing dishes, or us trying to have conversation across the room.

Or maybe we are overwhelming because there is so much unspoken. So many habits, and traditions that we don't realize we have. Unspoken cues, like random chocolate in the pie cabinet is available, but the Christmas cookies on the porch should not be touched before Christmas Eve.

Or maybe its the stories we tell - or our bluntness - or the over abundance of sarcasm or that we have theological books like Bonhoffer and Banner around the house that we actually read and discuss.

Sometimes Callie gets overwhelmed and starts crying...
Sometimes I want to join her. 
But I think what is so overwhelming is our sheer number and the level at which I love them all. As I sit down to write about them I am overwhelmed. Everyone last member of my family from Bo (father) to Callie (baby niece) has a beautiful, strong personality that I could write volumes on. I keep having to step back and make myself take a breath and not try to experience everything at once.

Hopefully, I will write on specific parties within my family, that's my plan, but family has a tendency to happily through plans off.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Thank(mas): Strong Rock Camp



Camp by the Numbers extended...

6 - The number of times I have looked at my summer and decided to give it to Strong Rock Camp.

1 - The number of years I spent serving in the kitchen.

3 - The number of years that I have spent as counselor in the cabin with so many amazing Pebblebrook-ers (I could not be more proud of each of you). And the number of AMAZING co-counselors I have had. Lauren, Taylor H. and Bekah, were and are more of a blessing that I could imagine or express.

60 -  The approximate number of times an hour during the summer I felt blessed to be a leader of such an awesome staff of lady counselors and the number times I was honored to lead with such a fantastic co-head-counselor as Taylor W.

400 - The approximate number of campers I got to welcome on day one of each session this summer and subsequently watch as they went from ‘returners’ and ‘new’ campers to one amazing group of pieces in the Strong Rock legacy.

365 - The number of days in the year that I am humbled, blessed, amazed, grounded, blown away, and otherwise awestruck at the privilege I have to be a part of SRC’s ministry.

45 -  The approximate number of minutes that my heart aches, inconsolably every time I drive away from the people I work with.

2.5 - The approximate number of hours that Daniel and I talk when I re-interview each year.

0 - The number times I have regretted or rethought coming to camp. No matter the cost, it has been and will be, indelibly, worth it. 


Monday, December 17, 2012

Thank(mas): Christmas - Part 3















 "Our faith falters when we think that God, the infinite, incomprehensible, ineffable reality, transcending all glory and majesty, should be defiled by associating with human nature"

- Gregory of Nyssa



When God set out to save us, it would seem the main thing to be accomplished was the sacrifice of Jesus' death. As the passage in Romans from Part 1 of this series said: "Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people." But God did not just send a perfect gift to atone our lives  (think the goat appearing to save Isaac).

"Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. 
He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 
So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide
And to this day it is said, 
“On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.
- Genesis 22:  13-14



God did not just send His Son as a sacrifice, He sent Him to live with us. Emmanuel means "God with us". God did not just come to die, He came to live among us for a lifetime. He was not in bubble of safety and peace, He was born into a dark world and lived in darkness. He grew up the son of carpenter, His birth came out of, what the world perceived as, a scandal. Within His first two years, the ruler of the age went on a killing rampage, murdering every little boy under the age of two. He spent His early years as a refugee, He was hated, mocked, and loved. Life was not rosy for Him. He faced temptation and stood against it. 


“Have this mind among yourselves,
 which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God,
 did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 
but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, 
being born in the likeness of men. "
- Philippians 2:5-7




Christ's death is made a million times more significant because He was not just a sacrificial lamb, He was incarnate (embodied in flesh; in human form ), He was Love MANIFESTED (v.display or show (a quality or feeling) by one's acts or appearance; demonstrate).


"“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy
 that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day
 in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. ""
- Luke 2: 10-11


"Do you ask the reason why God was born among men? If you exclude from life the benefits which come from God, you will have no way of recognizing the divine. It is from the blessings that we experience that we recognize our benefactor, since by observing what happens to us, we deduce the nature of him who is responsible for it. If, then, the love of man is a proper mark of the divine nature, here is the explanation you are looking for, here is the reason for God’s presence among men. Our nature was sick and needed a doctor. Man had fallen and needed someone to raise him up. He who had lost life needed someone to restore it. He who had ceased to participate in the good needed someone to bring him back to it. He who was shut up in darkness needed the presence of light. The prisoner was looking for someone to ransom him, the captive for someone to take his part. He who was under the yoke of slavery was looking for someone to set him free. Were these trifling and unworthy reasons to impel God to come down and visit human nature, seeing humanity was in such a pitiful and wretched state?"

 - Gregory of Nyssa




Thursday, December 13, 2012

Thank(mas): Christmas - Part 2




"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 
from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 
that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be 
strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, 
being rooted and grounded in love, 
may have strength to comprehend with all the saints 
what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know
the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge
that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
 - Ephesians 3: 14-19

The love of God is incomprehensible. As humans we try and wrap it up in neat little packages. For many people it is "God is love" and we let that stand as an excuse for pardon. Others would say that there is no way that God could be love when there is so much bad in the world. But the fault in either position is trying to wrap God and His love into one single statement. 



"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? 
Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?"
 -Romans 8:35

God set up the standard for us, and we fail to meet that standard. In order for Him to stay God, He can not shift His standard, and because we are human we can not live up to it. In the darkness we brought upon ourselves we sat at an impasse. God, by logic, had every reason to leave us be. He set rules, we didn't live up to them, consequences are all on us. But something other than logic was at play, God's love.



"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—
though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 
but God shows his love for us in that 
while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  
Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, 
much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God."
 - Romans 5:7-9

God loved us so much, that He refused to let us sit in our own grime, hopeless. He did not shift His standard, but instead gave us a way to meet it. His love is not that He decided that it didn't matter what we did with our lives, His love is giving us a way to live up to the standard. That standard that was set up in the garden, where nothing wrong, sad, bad, tragic or misunderstood. He refused to leave us in our own mistakes. No where else is Love so complex, or so complete.


"In this the love of God was made manifest among us,
 that God sent his only Son into the world, 
so that we might live through him."
 - 1 John 4:9